Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Self-bribery (or book-deprivation for my own good)


I think, for many of us, much of our life is dictated by bribes. Now, you may call them incentives or rewards—those are really nice, sparkly words—but let’s be honest with ourselves here. When your mom said, “Eat all your green beans and you can have ice cream for dessert,” that was a bribe.*

This continues in life, evolving slightly to more important things than vegetables (extra credit in class if you participate, an extra slice of pizza if you work out, time to read some funny blogs if you do 20 minutes of work**).

As we get older, and more “mature” (ahem, yeah right), our bribing evolves. We no longer need someone else to do it for us. We are more than capable of dangling that carrot in front of our own noses. Two things are necessary for this self-bribery to be successful:

1. Somewhere, deep down in our tiny, selfish hearts, we must actually want or need to accomplish the task. If I’m trying to bribe myself into cleaning my closet I can guarantee it won’t work. I don’t really care about a clean closet,*** so promising myself Oreos if I organize it is pointless.

2. The reward has to be really good. Otherwise you might find yourself in a situation like this:

Mama Juju: Eat your green beans and you can have an Ice Cream Sandwich [Yum, remember those!!]
Me: But I don’t want an Ice Cream Sandwich.****
MJ: *sputters*
Me: *smiles innocently* [Read: I win.]

If you’re struggling to get something done, whether it’s eating your vegetables or writing a book, try a bribe (or reward, if you want to be all glowy and positive about it). Learn what will work for you as a writer and go at it:

“Finish this scene and you can have that Diet Coke.”

“Write for twenty more minutes and you can watch Glee.”

“2000 words and you can shower.” [Note: using hygiene as a bargaining tool can be dangerous. Leave this one to the professional self-bribers, please. For all our sakes.]

So, if it takes a bribe to get you to sit down and be productive, I say do it. Just make sure you’re following through on both ends of the bargain. I’m currently bribing myself with good books. (And let me tell you, I already want to cheat.)

I bought two books yesterday: Stephanie Perkins’ Anna and the French Kiss and Richelle Mead’s Last Sacrifice. They’re sitting on the bookshelf right next to my desk, taunting me, begging me. “Read me, read me,” they whisper. But so far (less than 24 hours in) I’m holding strong. When I get to the part in my story where the MC finally confronts the villain (and this has been a long time coming, ya’ll), then I can read them.

And I have no doubt that both will be just as delicious as an ice cream sandwich. [Also, go buy those books here and here.]


*This is, of course, the positive reinforcement version. Some of you might have gotten a more negative, life-of-hard-knocks version such as, “Eat your green beans or no dessert for you!” This is more threat than bribe and, though common, I’m going to ignore it. It doesn’t fit in my Bribes-for-life theory, so I’m pretending it doesn’t exist. #Science
**Sorry, boss.
***Sorry mom.
****This is always a lie. Obviously. But sometimes, it just feels good to argue, right?

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