Just type The End and be done with it, right? Apparently not.
I've been on the downhill side of my WIP for a couple of months now and gravity says it should be getting easier, moving faster the closer I get to the bottom, but it isn't.
It is SO far from easy.
Sometimes I just stop and think* about when it was easy, way back at the beginning. “Remember the day you pounded through the first 10k words like it was nothing?” I say aloud. “The words just came and you knew they were right. What happened to that? When did your writing get so repetitive and boring. Just finish already!”
Don't get me wrong, excitement and a love of the story are in there too (somewhere). But at the moment they're getting out-shouted by the negatives.
The loudest negatives being dread.
Finishing means actually moving forward in this process. It means revising. And revising some more. And eventually it means querying (which, let's admit it, is freaking scary). Right now I'm living in my little writing bubble--not telling too many people about what I'm working on, and letting even fewer of them read some scraps of it. I like that bubble. No pressure but my own in my bubble—and that's plenty.
But at the same time I feel like I’m treading water. I keep writing and writing, the plot keeps getting more complicated with every scene, and that list of revisions that I’m keeping (but trying not to look at) is getting longer.
And as much as I’ve enjoyed this story and discovering what it’s truly about in this first draft (and despite the complaining, I have enjoyed it**) , I can’t wait to get started on revisions.
Oh, I know what you’re thinking. And you’re probably right.
I say that now and then in a month I’ll be complaining about those too. (“Damn revisions, why can’t I go back to happy writer-bubble-first-draft time.”) But right now, I have a good idea what changes are going to need to happen and I’m excited about them. I know they’ll make this story better. Of course, this makes staying focused and finishing that much harder—I’m ready for the next step!
But no.
I guess, I need to find the fun in this rough*** draft again. I have some big, exciting, important scenes still to write. I have some characters to *ahem* kill off, and some others to torture some more with annoying boys and way-too-peppy friends.
There’s no lesson here. No solution. Sometimes you just have to keep your butt in the chair and keep taking those baby steps towards the end—no matter how much you wish you could skip over the journey.
And since it's the holiday season and all...just follow Kris Kringle’s advice and keep putting one foot in front of the other. (But keep your butt in the chair while you do it! You cheaters.)
* This ‘thinking’ is really just a form of procrastinating and happens often when I should be forcing myself to finish a scene. It’s usually followed by me reorganizing my desk and stalking people on Twitter.
**No, really. I can tell you don’t believe me but for the most part it has been great. Frustrating at times? Yes. But I learned a lot. About myself, my writing, my characters. You name it—I even learned which candy helps me write. (Peanut butter M&Ms, if you’re in the area and want to bring me some. I’m looking at you, roomie.)
